The Power of Yes and No

There are two common words that impact our marriage relationship more than we realize.   And yet we overlook their power to build or destroy intimacy.  The two words are “Yes” and “No”. With YES, we enter our marriage and that is a wonderful moment even though we had to say NO to others.

But for some of us YES becomes the easy response to a question because we fear conflict or want to please our spouse.  It looks kind, but is that the loving thing to do?  For me,a dishonest YES lays the foundation for future conflict.  And my lack of sincerity does not build trust or intimacy with Lou Ann.


Our “NO” is also important.  NO says I am not you and you are not me because are different by design.  NO allows me to prioritize things.  Since we are finite and only have so much time, NO is critical to our existence.  If we had eternity we could say YES to everything but we don’t unlimited time or resources.   I understand.  NO sounds so negative and uncaring and rejecting.  That’s probably why It is so tempting to say YES instead, isn’t it?  But even Jesus was careful to say YES to certain things and NO to others.


Discuss these questions with  your spouse?

How often do I say “YES” to avoid conflict with my spouse or just to please them?  What is an example?

How could my spouse encourage me to be more honest about my responses to them?  What’s my next step?


Matthew 5:37  Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.


 

 

Related Posts

How We Hide in Our Marriage Conflict

How We Hide in Our Marriage Conflict

  Conflict in marriage is challenging.  And most of us have an autopilot approach that we take when we respond to conflict. Perhaps you are the person...

The Two Most Powerful Words in Marriage

The Two Most Powerful Words in Marriage

There are two words that impact my marriage the most. The comics would say that those two words should be "Yes, Dear".  The realists would offer "I'm sorry",...

Why You are Fooled by Your Fears

Why You are Fooled by Your Fears

In marriage, our emotional state always affects our spouse.   And our fears add a constant tension to the relationship. In our previous post we looked at how...

Why is Everyone so Fearful?

Why is Everyone so Fearful?

Without a doubt, we live in a time of many fears. We've learned that we are to fear Covid-19.  Fear racism.  Fear Republicans.  Fear Democrats.  Fear white...

Think you have a High IQ for Marriage?

Think you have a High IQ for Marriage?

Communicating in any relationship is challenging, but marriage offers a special challenge because it is a constant requirement. There is no rest for either...

Comments

0 Comments

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Share This