There are two common words that impact our marriage relationship more than we realize. And yet we overlook their power to build or destroy intimacy. The two words are “Yes” and “No”. With YES, we enter our marriage and that is a wonderful moment even though we had to say NO to others.
But for some of us YES becomes the easy response to a question because we fear conflict or want to please our spouse. It looks kind, but is that the loving thing to do? For me,a dishonest YES lays the foundation for future conflict. And my lack of sincerity does not build trust or intimacy with Lou Ann.
Our “NO” is also important. NO says I am not you and you are not me because are different by design. NO allows me to prioritize things. Since we are finite and only have so much time, NO is critical to our existence. If we had eternity we could say YES to everything but we don’t unlimited time or resources. I understand. NO sounds so negative and uncaring and rejecting. That’s probably why It is so tempting to say YES instead, isn’t it? But even Jesus was careful to say YES to certain things and NO to others.
Discuss these questions with your spouse?
How often do I say “YES” to avoid conflict with my spouse or just to please them? What is an example?
How could my spouse encourage me to be more honest about my responses to them? What’s my next step?
Matthew 5:37 Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.