Stop Lying to Yourself

For 30 years, I was controlled by my sinful anger.  An anger that was continually expressed in my marriage toward Lou Ann.

Sure, I realized I had a problem with anger, but wasn’t ready to own my part in it. Being the logical type, I decided that others were the cause of my anger.

That meant that when they stopped making me angry, then I would stop being angry.

But God had other plans and I became very miserable.  That’s when the revelation came from the Holy Spirit.

It was brilliant and the exact opposite of my logical reasoning. It told me that “no one can make you angry”.

What?  How could this be?  My anger was my responsibility?  And others could not be blamed?

And I was shocked because I had built my life on this lie.  For 30 years.  As a christian.  Serving in the local church.

For some of you, “no one can make you angry” wouldn’t be a revelation, it would be common sense.
For others, that’s something you need to think about.  Because it seems convicting.

Lies are a chronic problem for humans.  In Genesis, we see a lie change the course of humanity.

Adam and Eve chose to believe the lie that they needed “the knowledge of good and evil”.  That lie cost them their intimate relationship with God and brought sin/death to life.   Romans 1:25

But are we any different?

What are some lies that guide your decisions?  If you are blind to them, how would you know?  How could lies be harming your marriage (and other relationships)?  How can you begin to find freedom from these lies?

In the next few weeks I will give you an opportunity to explore these questions for your life.  As we do, I want to prepare you so you aren’t surprised.  Here’s why.

When you have believed a lie for a long time, it means you have developed habits, expectations, assumptions and behaviors to support that lie.  Once the truth appears, it challenges all of these things in your life.  That will be hard to accept.

Plus you shouldn’t be surprised that it will take time for you to get free.  In my case it took several years though there were dramatic improvements in the first year.  Even now I must be alert to the lie trying to re-establish itself in my life.

Lies burrow deeply into our lives and will need to be rooted out, exposed, acknowledged and put to death using the truth.  This effort is only possible if we are willing to allow the the Holy Spirit to work in us.  Cooperate and He will operate.

We will need to remember He is patient with us and wants our best.  But our tendency will be to fall out of step with Him.  Either moving too quickly forward or hanging back.  Galatians 5:15

Here’s my experience with learning about a lie in your life..

When I recognized the truth about my anger, I found myself disoriented. Shocked. Embarrassed. Wondering. Convicted. Denying.

At the same time, I felt a hope.  Truth was a door that opened my life to seeing real change and experiencing freedom.

It was to be a time of beginnings and endings.  It was the end of my slavery to sinful anger and the beginning of my discovery of how the Holy Spirit sanctifies us with truth.  (That’s why He is called “the spirit of truth” in John 15:26 )

What I didn’t fully understand was that it would take time to untangle the mess I had created.  There were no quick fixes.  Sin put up a fight.

My habits were the hardest to work through.  But the Holy Spirit made the real difference.

You too will face these same issues, so don’t be surprised.  Remember.  Over time, God desires to set you free from the lies that hold you back.

So join me in this journey.  It’s time to stop lying to ourselves.

Share your responses with your spouse, to get the most benefit!

What one lie have you told yourself, in the past?

What was the impact of that lie, on your life?




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1 Comment

  1. Jessica Pfeiffer

    Great post! I’ve lied to myself for years saying that my value is the sum of my efforts and contribution to people and the world around me. Being busy and working hard is a good thing, but it doesn’t determine my value. I learned so much about that last year when I had a difficult knee surgery. It was so difficult for me to ask for and receive help. It’s still a struggle, but I see how it means a lot to my husband for me to need him and not be so self sufficient.


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