Think you have a High IQ for Marriage?

Communicating in any relationship is challenging, but marriage offers a special challenge because it is a constant requirement. There is no rest for either spouse as you juggle the complexities of family, career and everything else, as a team. Maybe that is why we often fall into a shallow, 1-inch deep, style of communication in marriage. Why...

Smart Thinking Couple

Your Love Bank. Open 24×7 for Deposits and Withdrawals!

I've always liked the Love Bank visualization as way to understand the emotional needs we each have in marriage. Understanding the Love Bank The concept of the Love Bank is simple.  Each of us maintains a subconscious record of relational deposits and withdrawals by our spouse. Deposits are those words and actions that encourage us, make us...

Make a deposit in our Love Bank

5 Ways to Love and Connect with Your Wife

In marriage, husbands and wives often struggle to be on the same page with communication. After four decades of marriage, I still find that true. And I'm going to assume I'm not alone. Some of it probably comes from our male/female differences and some from cultural differences. Sure, we may be talking, but I've learned that talking isn't...

Couple connecting in marriage on walk

Foolish Mind-Reading Mistakes in Marriage

How is Mind-Reading affecting your marriage?  Many couples use mind-reading to guess what their spouse is thinking and what their motives might be.   For example: Did he bring me flowers because he wants to express his love or because he feels guilty?  Did she buy me this gift because she wants to help me or remind me I am often sloppy?...

mind-reading couple in marriage

How do Marriages Survive Teenagers?

So, you may or may not have teenagers in your home at the moment.  But you probably know those who do.  So please read on! Without question, being or raising teenagers is an adventure.    - Rob Teenagers Impact Your Marriage It's been a while but I clearly remember that raising two teenage girls was a challenging time for our marriage. And to...

Teenagers and Marriage

Are you Letting your Past Dominate your Life?

One of the powerful lessons I've learned over the past two decades is how much our past still impacts our present. As much as I would like to believe my "past is the past", it still can show up in my beliefs, fears and expectations. Why Our Past Still Affects Us It sort of makes sense if you think about it. (1) Our past painful experiences...

Is your past dominating your present marriage scaled

How to Excuse Lying to Your Spouse

Telling lies in marriage is one of the most common problems in marriage.  And one of the most common ways we lie in marriage is using the LBO technique. And to be painfully honest, I've used it a lot in the past.   That's why I know so much about it... Thankfully, I have repented and am learning to speak the truth in love. What is LBO? Lying...

How to Lie in Marriage and Get away with it

Happy Covid19 Holidays to Y’all’s Marriage

Maybe it is just me, but the holidays can be challenging.  Sure, I love them but they wear on me  So, maybe it's not the holidays after all. Maybe the challenge is me... I have my patterns every year.  I try to do more than I should, have high expectations and probably suffer from mild Seasonal Affective Disorder. There was a time when the...

Stressed or Relaxed Marriage

Pardon me, but Your Identity is Showing!

A little shoutout to all those who dress their pets up for the holidays!I find it interesting to observe how each pet feels about their costume.Some pets look as unhappy as this one.  Yet, other pets are energized because they feel like they have a new identity. So why this thought about Identity? In this life, our perceptions tend to define...

dog in tiara with identity crisis

Why Your Identity Matters.

Who am I?  Really? This is one of the classic questions that we occasionally find ourselves asking. And it is an important question because the answer will guide much of our actions and reactions in life.  This question is rooted in how we define our IDENTITY.   Our Foundation Our Identity can be based on many things.  It could be based on my...

Depositphotos 18342399 l 2015

What is the Danger of Dependency in Marriage?

I want to highlight a danger that I've been seeing in struggling marriages. It's something that is often tolerated in Christian marriages but isn't an example of biblical love. God's Love To illustrate I want to start with God's love. When we consider God's love, we see that He expresses it unconditionally as an action taken for the benefit of...

Dominating in Marriage

The Indispensable Skill You Need in Marriage

Conflict is a normal part of every marriage. But we have a problem when our conflict fails to achieve a godly purpose. No marital conflict is ever pretty or perfect but it can result in intimacy when it has these results in our relationship. It exposes our hearts - we see our desires and values as they are rather than what we want to believe...

Marriage Conflict requires Forgiveness