COVID-19 is infecting more than our bodies,
it’s messing with our marriages.

“How did we get from
six degrees of separation
to six feet?”
― Péter Zilahy

For six months the world has been attacked by a silent but often deadly disease.  With nearly 200,000 deaths in the United States, millions of others have grieved as they have lost loved ones during this attack.  For them, Covid-19 is not a news item, but a reality that lingers.

We’ve also been infected with fear, anxiety, disagreements, conflict, bad expert advice, pandemic politics, conspiracy theories, joblessness, depression and doubt.  These are the hidden effects we often don’t consider.

It seems that we need not only a vaccine for the disease but also one for its effects on our lives.

Your Life is Chaotic

Think about it.  What was your daily life like on New Years Day?  Would you have ever predicted that 2020 would look like this? 

  • Workplace rules and schedules changed.
  • Layoffs and joblessness for millions
  • Our education systems shifting to remote classes
  • Massive disagreements on how to maintain the economy
  • Everyone wearing a mask and increased hygienic rules
  • Shortages of basic commodities
  • Drive-by celebrations, small weddings, limited graduations
  • Cancelled vacations and business travel
  • Zoom calls for work and family
  • Distrust of interacting with strangers

Each of these changes have arrived on our doorstep so rapidly that many of us have spent all of our emotional energy just adjusting.  Few of us have really had the opportunity to think deeply about all of this.

How to Avoid Infection

But we should take some time to consider the impact on our marriages because that relationship is increasingly stressed by the changes we’ve experienced and the fears that we’ve embraced.

Here are several things you can do, in the midst of the chaos, to strengthen your marriage.

1. Be deliberate in strengthening your relationship.

Don’t assume all is well.  Make an effort to sit down regularly and discuss your feelings, fears and frustrations.  Spend weekly time together without interruptions or phones.  Pray for each other.

2. Be on the same page and pursue unity

Don’t allow divisions to arise between you.  Make important decisions together.  Find common ground so that your fears don’t overwhelm you.  Practice Romans 14 and recognize your differences.

3. Be a disciple of Jesus even in the storm

Protect your spiritual disciplines.  They will be the conduit through which the Holy Spirit will bring peace and guidance.

4. Be one who trusts God, not your fears or doubts

Remember that God is at work in you and in this pandemic.  His love has not changed.  His plans have not changed.  His purposes for you have not changed.  You will look back at this time someday, and see the bigger picture.  Use this time to grow.

5. Be graceful to one another

This time is hard on each of us in different ways.  Don’t make it harder for your spouse.  Avoid harshness and outbursts of frustrations.  Show more appreciation to your spouse than you feel.  Be specific in your praise.

6. Be there for each other

When our marriage relationship is strong and vibrant, we are able to weather any storm.  Now is the time to not lose heart or allow distractions in your relationship.  You both need each other now more than ever.  Pursue intimacy.

 

 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
1st Peter  1:6-7 NIV

What are you doing to strengthen your marriage during this stressful time?  Leave a comment here!


Questions for a Great Marriage!

  • What am I feeling most anxious about?

  • Where can we invest more in our marriage?

  • Where do we see God at work in this challenging time?

  • What do you need most from me in this time?

  • Where are we not on the same page right now?

  • What frustrations do we have with each other that we need to discuss?

  • How can we pray specifically for each other?


Other Resources:

Christianity Today
Immunizing Your Marriage

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