The lies we believe about God and ourselves are everywhere.
And they have a powerful influence on our marriage relationship.
Jesus warned us that our enemy “is a liar and the father of lies”. Satan always lies and it is his greatest tool to hinder God’s work in our lives.
These lies steal our joy, destroy our hope and keep us from fully trusting God’s character and words.
We are active participants in the process of believing Satan’s lies. We can make the choice to accept or reject them. But lies tempt us because they offer solutions we want without the necessary work.
I see at least three reasons we are susceptible to lies.
1. We are naturally prideful.
This is our root problem. We constantly overestimate ourselves, reject good counsel and then underestimate God’s character and power. That’s why we think things like this.
“I know what’s best.” “It’s all your fault.” “Everyone is an idiot.” “I’m glad I’m smarter than they are.” “I would never be tempted to do that.” “If I had been there, I would have done the right thing.” “God will excuse my sinful behavior because He is love.” “What I’m doing won’t affect others!” “This doesn’t apply to me.”
Our pride blinds us. Others see our pride. We don’t. Our pride makes us vulnerable to the lies which bring pain and loss to us and those we love.
Best song that expresses pride? This one.
2. Our hearts are a Desire Factory.
We are always filled with desires and we love to believe lies that appeal to those desires. If the lie offers prestige, beauty, power, safety, comfort or knowledge, the lie is easier to believe. Marketers know this and use it all the time.
“You will be like God knowing good and evil” “You can change the world.” “You will feel better about yourself when you look like this/achieve this goal.” “If you had what they had, you would be happy too.” “Take it easy. Enjoy life. You earned it.” “Just do it.” “You are powerful.” “Buy this and feel satisfied.”
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Genesis 3:6
3. We ignore our human frailty.
It’s amazing how unwilling we are to accept our human limitations.
We tend to believe we are stronger, smarter, and better than others. And we act like we are going to live forever. We regularly waste time pursuing things that don’t satisfy and wear ourselves out. We push and strive to fill the vacuum inside.
Yet it is our limitations which should point us back to our need for God’s help. It should cause us to depend on others more. Instead we act invincible.
“I can do this on my own.” “Sleep? Who needs sleep?” “I can do this perfectly.” “I need to get more education and that will make me successful.” “I need to improve my time management to get more done.”
“I can stop anytime I want, so stop saying it’s a problem.” “The past is the past. We don’t need to talk about it any more.” “You can’t hurt me.” “I will never depend on someone again.”
Our self-deception can even be funny. Did you know that 93% of drivers believe they are “above-average“?
In my life I have found that lies are most acceptable when I am experiencing strong emotions, such as fear, doubt and pain.
A lie that comes at these times seems to bypass my logic by offering a solution I desperately desire. That’s when many addictions take root.
We are stressed so we drink several glasses of wine each night. We are bored so we watch TV until midnight so we can fall asleep. We are feeling unloved so we go shopping to feel better about ourselves. We are betrayed, so we tell ourselves “I will never be vulnerable with others again.”
Most of the lies we tell ourselves, are an attempt to distort reality and soothe ourselves. – Rob
Strong human emotions make us vulnerable to lies that we would never believe otherwise. And when we look in our past at difficult/traumatic events we often find lies we have adopted then.
So in my next Post, let’s learn how to unearth the lies that are hiding in our lives!
Think of one lie you have believed in the past.
1. How did it appeal to your pride?
2. What desires were behind your willingness to believe this lie?
3. How did it cause you to ignore your human limitations?