My wife asked me early this morning for some “fluffy coffee”. I instantly knew what she was talking about. It’s a frothy latte that I often make for her and which she loves. Of course she loves coffee in general, but something about the extra work I put into it makes it even that much better. Like a true coffee lover, she takes her time and that one cup usually lasts her at least an hour. But not me. I slurp my coffee down in 3.5 minutes and move on. So why do I tell you this story?
Because marriage is made up of thousands of moments like this. Little kindnesses. Little gestures of love. Small sacrifices that say to our spouse, “I appreciate you. I respect your preferences. You matter to me. It gives me joy to serve you. You are more important than my task list or my hobbies. I can wait for you. I am here for you.”
Yet it hasn’t always been this way in my marriage. More often it was me demanding that Lou Ann make the sacrifices, then finding it too difficult for me to show her love in ways that she understood. I was selfish and self-centered. Worse, I justified it because I was doing more important “things”. But thankfully she was patient and God changed my heart.
The little things we do out of love, always add up. One writer said it this way. We each have a “Love Bank” that we are always depositing into or withdrawing out of. Little deposits add to the intimacy of the marriage, so make them a priority.
The good news is “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Discuss these questions with your spouse!
How full is your Love Bank, right now? 10%? 50%? 75%
What actions or words cause withdrawals from your Love Bank?
What actions or words add deposits into your Love Bank?
Romans 12: 10 (NLT) Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
Ephesians 5:28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.